Photo courtesy of the bride.
In addition to being a freelance writer, I’m also a certified marriage officiant. And a few weeks ago, I married my friend, Dixie, to her sweetheart in a Guys and Dolls Depression era-themed ceremony in midtown Manhattan.
Dixie has countless delightful qualities. She’s incredibly witty, entertaining, and stylish. She is the cleverest wordsmith I know – in fact, she wrote her whole love story out in her wedding program in Runyonese (that is, Damon Runyon’s distinctive vernacular, which confines itself to the present progressive tense!). She’s adorable. She’s quirky. She has a big heart. And she also probably has one of the best private vintage collections in all of New York City, which makes visiting her apartment feel a little like going to a museum. Aside from all of her delightfulness, Dixie also has a knack for being a special kind of frugal – the saving & splurging kind. She’s great at being almost ascetic in some ways so that she may be more fanciful in others.
Her wedding was a perfect example of this, so I caught up with Dixie recently and asked her about how her saving & splurging strategies helped her pull off an ultimately frugal wedding party for 90 guests.
Q: It seems that being frugal was on your mind in more ways than one while you were planning your wedding. Why did you choose the Depression-era theme?
Dixie’s A: In these challenging times it’s comforting to know that we have predecessors who survived a Depression with style, wit, and wiles. Our wedding’s theme celebrated a time and place where soft hearts conquered hard times, as captured in the stories of Damon Runyon. Bringing humor, romance, and even innocence to his tales of Broadway’s underworld denizens, Runyon’s world – set primarily right in my own neighborhood of midtown Manhattan – is filled with anti-heroes who never let their nefarious activities interfere with their humanity.
Q: You were very clever about managing the costs for your wedding, what kinds of things did you do (or enlist friends to do) to save where many brides might’ve splurged?
Dixie’s A: Well, I did do a lot of it myself, and my husband and my bridal bitches helped with the rest. I didn’t have bridesmaids, per se, though I did ask some of my friends (a.k.a., my bridal bitches) to help out with bridal/wedding duties. Let’s see…
- My husband and I made the invitations ourselves with help from a photographer friend. We were able to print them up for under $300. [Interviewer’s Note: In keeping with her ‘30s theme, Dixie and her husband used a very cute "Bonnie & Clyde" style mug shot photo for the invitations.]
- I requested that the best woman and the bridal bitches wear black (everyone has something black) and/or hot pink to identify themselves to the other guests as “helpers,” and to dress in period-esque clothing, if they could, but I didn’t make them go out and buy new dresses. That way I was able to save them some money.
- I made the escort cards myself with vintage cigarette cards from the ‘30s that I found on ebay and, rather than hiring a calligrapher, I wrote everyone’s names on them myself.
- I didn’t use a florist; instead I ordered roses wholesale from FiftyFlowers.com and arranged them with some of the bridal bitches.
- For wedding favors, I made mixed jazz and swing CDs. I burned them over the course of a few months and I printed out my own covers for them. I also ordered personalized bags and matchbooks from OrientalTrading.com. The bridal bitches came over a few nights before the wedding to help stuff the bags and fit the CD covers.
- I chose the venue where we got married, in part because it’s really close to where I live, but also because they had the best rate quote. Additionally, I opted for a buffet, not a multi-course sit-down dinner, and while there was an open bar, it was just for beer and wine, so I saved money there, too, by not having mixed drinks.
- I didn’t hire a band; instead I made iPod playlists. My husband and I also put together a slideshow on my laptop that showed photos of us and our dogs and birds. Intermingled with the photos were slides with amusing trivia questions about both of us. We projected the slideshow onto screens at the venue.
- Since a lot of the wedding music was for swing dancing, my old swing dancing partner and I offered a lesson on the basic steps to guests. Again, we did it ourselves; I didn’t hire any instructors.
- I didn’t hire a wedding photographer either; I just relied on my friends to take most of the wedding photos. However, I did hire a photographer to take mug shot photos of all the guests during the cocktail hour.
- My bridal bitches and I decorated the space with paintings, vintage bride dolls, piles of Damon Runyon books, figurines, pin-up girl paper dolls, mannequins, and other items from my own private collection.
- I wrote and designed the programs myself and I printed them at my local copy shop.
- One of my friends* married us, and she was nice enough not to charge me, so I didn’t have to pay for an officiant. [Interviewer’s Note: *That’s me!]
Q: Where did you splurge when you knew you could’ve saved?
Dixie’s A: My biggest expenses were definitely the charity donation my husband and I made to Best Friends Animal Society and the World Society for the Protection of Animals in honor of each of our friends and family who attended the wedding. And my dresses! I bought 6 dresses, intending to resell the ones I wasn’t going to wear. That being said, I got all of them at discounted prices, either from ebay, Dream Bridal L.A., or the Bridal Garden here in New York City, which is where the wedding dress I wore came from. [Interviewer's Note: Bridal Garden is a nonprofit bridal boutique with designer and couture wedding gowns for up to 75% off. All proceeds benefit education for NYC children.]
Q: You were also strategic about using your registry to help offset certain costs? How did that work?
Dixie’s A: While we did register for some “stuff” at Wishpot.com, we also created a Honeyfund, which listed components of our honeymoon that friends and family could contribute to. We’re going on a transatlantic cruise (thanks to my in-laws!), and there are extras, like tour options in the various ports-of-call, that we’d otherwise have to pay for ourselves. We also used Honeyfund to register for a few things we needed, like new luggage, and fun things we wanted, like dinner in Barcelona, massages, souvenirs, and a “Just Married!” bikini for me.
Q: Got any advice for frugal brides-to-be?
Dixie’s A: Try to focus on the elements that are most important to you and that you think will have the biggest impact, and then work the hardest to make those elements part of your wedding celebration. Don’t let yourself get pulled into anyone else’s agenda. One thing that surprised me was how some family members and friends seemed to think of our wedding day as their day, and that was challenging to deal with. But you should do what makes you happy. Do what both you and your husband want, not what other people want.
Finally, do yourself a favor and avoid bridal porn! Once I started looking at all those bridal magazines, I began wanting things that it never would’ve occurred to me to want before. But I do recommend checking out OffbeatBride.com!
Interviewer’s Note: If you want to learn more about Dixie’s wedding, you can read about it in the New York Times April 10th, 2009 edition of Vows!