First, you learn to let go of the control over this part of your life, you learn to trust someone else (and pity them) to wash your smelly gym clothes. And then you do a basic cost-benefit analysis (Thank you, NYU Stern School of Business) that shows you that $.85 per pound, less than $10 – $15 per week (depending on your family size), is well worth it. (Here is where I will insert a disclaimer – kids are a game changer, where laundry can be almost a daily habit, and I can’t provide much guidance to those of you with kids!)

You must value these benefits: You don’t have to search around in pockets, purses and couches for quarters, and then spend these quarters for the machines, detergent and fabric softener. You also don’t have to hang out in a laundromat or laundry room for hours, worry if someone else is going to take your stuff out of the machine, or remember not to forget your stuff in the dryer causing your shirts and shorts to get wrinkly, and, most important, NO FOLDING!

The last tip I ever read in a Real Simple magazine recommended that you hire a cleaning person so that you can reduce stress, and I thought to myself, they just don’t get it – it’s stressful for some people just because they know they can’t afford to hire a cleaning person to reduce stress. I do get it, and the extra $5 – $10 it costs to get your laundry done will only provide you happiness and time to run your other errands, spend time with your family and friends, or write a blog post.

Here are my recommendations for having a successful laundry drop-off experience:

- Pick a laundromat that does drop-off/pick-up ONLY. You don’t want other people in the laundromat messing with machines and potentially taking your stuff.

- Round up the bill to include a tip. A tip is always appreciated and since the bill will be small, it’s okay if the tip is small, too. The tip will always pay-off in times of emergency when you need your stuff cleaned the same day, or you forgot your wallet or your receipt, or just because these men and women deserve it after cleaning your stinky stuff.

- Use a laundry bag that is recognizable. Makes life easy for you and the launderers at pick up if you can point out your bag. And if, like me, you sometimes forget your receipt, again, it makes life easier for everyone.

- Own more than one week’s worth of underwear. This holds true for do-it-yourselfers, and drop-offers, sometimes you just don’t feel like doing your laundry or taking it to the laundromat.

So release those laundry bag strings, and leave the laundry to someone else.

July has been my busiest month all year, and the fruits of my labor have required me to work around the clock, which is why I’ve been MIA on Frugaltopia the last few weeks. It’s great that I’m getting new gigs, and I’m fine with the decision I made to take on so many projects to make up for the recession-induced lack of work earlier this year. But after a month of many 12 to 19 hour days spent writing, editing, and project managing – plus working through my “vacation” – I’m left contemplating the virtues of self-employment. What’s so great about it?

My Summer Office

Maybe it’s the mildly entrepreneurial aspect of it. I like making my own hours, choosing which projects I take on and how many. I enjoy not being confined to a cubicle, and instead working from my home office, which sometimes means spending the day with my computer on my deck, or telecommuting from another location. And of course, I’m happy to skip rush hour commutes. But beyond the surface stuff, I also find my freelance work to be more fulfilling than much of the work I’ve had as a full-time employee. If it weren’t for that, I’d still be in the office.

Perhaps it’s also the perceived sense of freedom I’m attracted to, but sometimes that seems like an illusion – especially when I consider the price I pay, quite literally, as a freelancer for social security, taxes, health insurance, and the unpaid time off for my own vacations. Not to mention the fact that there’s no severance, Cobra, or unemployment benefits for the self-employed. And in times like these, when freelancers are slaves to a feast or famine mentality, it can really throw your work and personal life out of balance.

“Freedom” is the word I always equate with my decision to be self-employed, but other than the formalities of the corporate structure that I’m not bound to (i.e., strict hours, limited vacation time, etc.), there really isn’t anything genuinely freeing about working for oneself. It puts you at greater risk of being temporarily unemployed; the hours are often longer; and you have to put extra time, effort, and work into keeping your employment consistent.

I felt lucky to have consistent work the first few years I was freelancing, but this year has been a roller coaster – too little work; then, too much work. Of course, too much work usually feels like a blessing. Who wouldn’t want the extra money or the luxury to choose among the most desirable projects being offered? But it’s also a curse because turning down work is painful when you don’t know if it’ll be there again when you want need it. And if you accept it all, as I did this past month, you’re going to be holed up, day and night, for as long as it takes to finish everything, even if that means letting everything else – your relationship, your friends, your vacation, your laundry, your usual standards of personal grooming – fall by the wayside. That’s when you start asking yourself (albeit rhetorically, and in this case, publicly) why the hell you’re doing this.

When it comes right down to it, I think it’s because I’ve always secretly wanted to torture myself by being a writer. Not an editor. Not a producer. And somehow the experience of being a writer feels more authentic when I’m working for myself – even if that, too, is just another kind of torture illusion, since let’s face it, I’m not really working for myself; I work for my clients.

I suppose a career is a work-in-progress, and there is something inherently stimulating and hopeful about that, even when the economy remains uncertain and you’re worried about the possibility of your livelihood suddenly evaporating. At this point, I’m just glad that I have work for the rest of the summer (and a few things lined up for the fall) as I continue to move forward, frugally, and hope for more good fortune.

click to watch the adorable e-card Kim sent to her sister

I have a difficult time remembering important events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries. It’s a failing that bothers me greatly and probably bothers the people who are important to me even more. And it’s not just carelessness. I’m convinced that in this one area I have a yet-to-be diagnosed dyslexia–a simple failing of normal brain function, nothing personal.

Take my sister’s birthday for example–it’s today, and it’s not like I forgot about it. Not exactly. Back at the beginning of June I thought, “Oh, it’s June. Lesley’s birthday is at the end of the month.” Then later in the month I thought about it again. “Hmm, I should get a card.” I looked over the paper cards at CVS. Dismayed at the cheesiness of all of them, I decided to look again at a different store, which I never remembered to do. Anyway, today I woke up and thought, “Yikes, it’s the 28th and I never sent a card.” So I decided to look for an e-card (what else could I do?)

The last time I sent an e-card was for my mother’s birthday (which I forgot about entirely. Yes, I know, very bad daughter.) Anyway, it took me a long time to find a decent e-card because I had this idea that e-cards should be free. After a long search, I found a good one, but it wasn’t entirely free. Sending that “free” e-card signed me up for a relentless and impossible to get rid of mailing list that still plagues me twice a week.

So this morning I relented and took a look at the premium Hallmark e-cards. I was surprised and excited to find tons of stuff that I liked. Unlike the dismal sentiments paper cards proffer (they range from mildly offensive humor to sickly sweet poetry), the e-cards offered something more contemporary and relevant. They are funny yet tasteful, and they are extremely entertaining. After browsing their offerings, I concluded that e-cards had gotten better, much better, than paper cards. So I signed up for a one-year subscription. For only $9.99 I can send as many e-cards as I want. This is an amazing savings since nowadays, a nice paper card costs about $4.00, and a really nice card can cost as much at $7.00.

But the biggest benefit for me isn’t the cost savings, it’s this little gem:

Hallmark's e-card organizer

While I’m quite disciplined about the way I structure my time for my freelance gigs, I sometimes lose steam when it comes to writing in my “non-work” hours. I would much rather go out and do fun things with my friends, especially if they are performing or having art or film openings. Often, the last thing I want to do is sit around and write more after writing all day, even if it is the thing that I most deeply do want to do.

“No human activity I know of takes more time than writing…. Of necessity the writer is unlike those of [her] friends who quit work at five,” wrote John Gardener in On Becoming a Novelist. For me, it’s a conundrum, and it always has been since I realized I was a writer. I try to strategize so that I have time to write and time to relax. But I like being social. I enjoy going out. I love spending time with friends and having long and involved conversations while eating and drinking, perusing galleries, or hanging out at the beach. But I have (I’m told by my friends) more friends than the average person. More friends = more temptations invitations to choose play over work.

That’s why I’ve put a moratorium on new friendships. This might sound obnoxious to anyone who doesn’t know me, but to anyone who does – and anyone who has teased me about inviting only my “closest” 200 friends to a dinner party (you know who you are) – this assertion just makes them laugh. The thing is, I make friends easily. If I had a superpower, that’d be it. But in recent years, I’ve also been troubled by this because there simply isn’t enough time in my day/week/month/year/life to cultivate meaningful relationships with all of these people that I’m intrigued by and interested in.

In lieu of spending time with new friends, I am trying to dedicate more quality time to my inner circle of friends – engaging with each of them, one on one, and hosting more intimate gatherings at home. I am still meeting up with my other friends and acquaintances, but less often. However, I have found that social networking – Facebook, in particular – makes it easy for me to be a well-informed – if somewhat lazy – friend to many of the other people I care about. (By the way, I have not put a moratorium on new Facebook friends: http://www.facebook.com/jenlaskey)

Finally, I am saying NO more often. I decline invitations to do all sorts of fun things and I’m getting better at refusing to take on other people’s projects when they’re going to take time away from my own. And other than feeling a little bit of initial guilt about disappointing my friends in these circumstances, I believe I’m making progress. Plus, it makes me extra committed to using my personal time as wisely as possible, so I don’t regret missing out on those other opportunities.

The older I get, the more precious my time is to me – especially when I have a novel and a cookbook and several blogs to tend to. Sometimes I do end up just staring at my computer for hours, typing out a few sentences here and there, and then deleting them, dissatisfied. But usually, I get at least a little something that pleases me. Even if the words don’t culminate in exactly the way that I want them to, they are mine – fruits of my labor and solitude.

When I ditched TV ten years ago, it wasn’t for moral reasons. It wasn’t because I was worried that TV was rotting my brain, and it wasn’t because I couldn’t afford the cable bills. It was, purely and simply, a time-management decision. I never would have gotten through grad school if I had continued wasting spending 3 or 4 hours a day in front of the tube. But it took me awhile to pull the plug because I honestly believed that I loved TV. As a latchkey kid, I’d grown up with television, logging 25+ hours a week. The television was a pseudo parent and friend. Even after ten years of living television-free, I still can’t ignore it. If a TV is turned on anywhere near me, I am helplessly drawn to it.

So, when I canceled our cable account, I braced myself for a long painful withdrawl process. I fully expected to wander the apartment as a half-crazed shell of a person desperately longing for TV veg-out time. But it didn’t happen that way. After a few days of no TV, I kind of…forgot about it. Incredibly, I preferred quiet evenings spent reading (note: grad school = lots of reading), surfing the web, or talking to my husband. I also liked getting my homework done. And now, ten years later, I’m using what would have been television time to do stuff that matters to me like writing this blog, talking to friends, hanging out with my family, gardening, or fixing stuff around the house.

Turning off the TV had other unexpected perks. First, my outlook improved. Now, when I do watch TV (on airplanes, in hotel rooms, etc…) I notice how negative and degrading some of the shows are. And even though I still enjoy an occasional wallow in the reality show mud pits, after a few hours of it I feel pretty gross. Television exploits negativity because it is a downward spiral from which there is no escape addictive. Take a look at this blog post and ponder how your psyche might be impacted by television: Have You Fallen for these 7 Negative Attitudes Pushed by the Media?

Second, since I stopped watching shows with ridiculously good looking actors who live in beautiful homes, wear incredible clothes, have perfect hair, and enjoy outrageous adventures, I find myself increasingly satisfied with my own life. Not that I don’t still fantasize about being an international spy with amazing karate moves, but those daydreams are on my terms and I have them with both feet firmly planted on my own Walter Mitty-ish turf.

Third, I don’t watch commercials, so I don’t even know about all the stuff that I should want. There are whole boatloads of Chinese consumer goods that I’ve never even heard of. And more importantly, my child doesn’t know about these things. If he watches a show, it’s on DVD, so no commercials, no nagging me to get that plastic thingamabob. No TV = less nagging, that is a scientifically-proven fact:

In 2001, the Nag Factor was used to influence an estimated $300 billion in sales. That amounts to over $4,000 per pestering child per year.

I eliminated TV because I was time starved. The tube was a non-essential and getting rid of it was an easy way to gain a few hours a day. But the decision turned out to be a great lifestyle-enhancer. If you are considering doing the same, here are a few websites to check out:
Trash Your TV! The Complete Guide to a Television-free Lifestyle
Unplug Your Kids
Escape Your Television — Diary of an Addict