But then, slowly, things started to change. I suspected the courtship was over when they stopped leaving the little pillow on my seat. Then they decided not to make dinner for me, or show me a movie (unless I bought a pair of headphones). I also noticed that they didn’t bother to clean up before I arrived. I’d find crumbs on my seat, used cups and tissues in the seat pouch, sticky goo on my tray table. They didn’t seem to care about impressing me anymore. And they didn’t care about my comfort either; I had to haul my luggage on board with me or pay an exorbitant fee, my seat got smaller, and each flight was packed like a subway car.

Over the last few years, the relationship has gone from exasperating to downright creepy. They started making me take off some of my clothes before entering the gate area. They look through my personal items and throw out whatever doesn’t conform to the rules. The other passengers are uncomfortable with the new relationship too. Many of us have fallen out of love, but we don’t dare say so. We are too afraid of being marked as a troublemaker and subjected to additional humiliations. Passengers reluctantly strip off their shoes, sweaters, belts, hats, coats, empty their pockets, take out laptop computers and put them in a separate bin, take out their private toiletries and place them in see-thru baggies. We all earnestly strive to conform to the bizarre rituals at the checkpoint. “They are designed to keep you safe,” the airlines say. The atmosphere is tense with impatience and anger. Occasionally, frustration will overwhelm a passenger and she might say something like, “This is ridiculous; I am not a terrorist. Why are you treating us like criminals.” Outbursts like this are dealt with severely.

Unfortunately, the mistreatment of airline passengers continues to worsen. Airports have begun installing refrigerator sized x-ray machines that will strip-search every traveler. I understand that we need to stop crazy people from blowing up planes, but there are other ways to do this. Strip-searching and exposing passengers to dangerous x-rays does NOT contribute to their safety and well-being.

“No exposure to X-ray is considered beneficial. We know X-rays are hazardous but we have a situation at the airports where people are so eager to fly that they will risk their lives in this manner.” Dr Michael Love, who runs an X-ray lab at the department of biophysics and biophysical chemistry at Johns Hopkins University school of medicine, told AFP.

There are two ways to look at this. Either air travel is one of the most dangerous things you can do, so dangerous that every passenger has to be strip-searched before getting on a plane; or airports and airlines are paranoid, controlling, and abusive, forcing passengers to submit to ever-increasing harassment with little regard for their comfort and safety. Either way, I’m declaring my freedom from this icky relationship. I’m breaking-up with the airlines. Excepting business trips mandated by my employer, I don’t HAVE to fly. And I won’t. I can take the train, drive, or stay close to home.

This holiday season, I’m driving to Michigan to visit family. Statistically, driving is more dangerous than flying, so for the past six years I’ve opted to spend the extra thousand plus dollars to fly. But now the equation has changed. I can’t expose my kid to the radiation scanners. I don’t want the TSA to have naked scans of him, and I don’t want him to undergo the alternative “enhanced pat down” which involves a grown-up stranger touching him where they shouldn’t (shudder). According to my calculations, I won’t even save much time by flying. It’s a 2-hour flight to Detroit, but I have to drive to the airport, deal with long-term parking, deal with the long lines and inevitable flight delays, deal with the additional time it will take to avoid the scanner (if that’s even possible). All totaled, I figure it will take five to eight hours of travel time via plane compared to twelve hours of driving. It doesn’t make much sense to spend an extra thousand dollars to save four or five hours, and now that the safety factor has been offset by the dangers of the scanners, driving is a no-brainer.

If you haven’t made your travel plans yet, consider alternatives to flying this holiday season. If you have already committed to flying, check the “we won’t fly” site for ways to opt out of the radiation chamber

Wish my luck on my holiday road trip!

Tasting Table – The writers of Tasting Table keep me filled in on all sorts of NYC foodie fodder. Their mission is “to deliver the best of food and drink culture to adventurous eaters,” and while that usually inspires worth-the-splurge editorial (in this city, anyway), Tasting Table also offers a fair amount of frugally-minded suggestions for everything from recession-friendly dining deals and cheap $2 tacos to drinks at Depression-era prices and recipes for culturing your own curds.

Epicurious – Because I like making food and assembling meals and I like pairing them with wine or cocktails (and I even like to do all of this on the cheap, whenever possible)…

…because it’s often cheaper to prepare my own food than to pay someone else to do it…

…and because Epicurious sends me recipes from Bon Appétit and Gourmet (which I no longer buy)…

I am a longtime subscriber to the Epicurious newsletters. They currently offer 2 versions. The first, Recipe Flash, is more food and recipe oriented, while the other, Tasting Notes, focuses on wine reviews and pairing recommendations.

Fodor’s Travel – While Fodor’s may still be suffering from its reputation as, well, your parents’ travel guide, I urge you to look at Fodor’s with a fresh eye. Their editorial and design has really changed for the better over the last few years. And I’m not just saying that because I sometimes write for them (though not for their newsletters). I recommend checking out Fodor’s because their editorial focus has shifted to include more sophisticated drinking and dining coverage, a better range of offerings (in general), more compelling features, full-color guidebooks, and a vibrant community. Fodor’s isn’t as interested in traveling on the cheap as they are in getting you the most for your money, but with that being said, their newsletters often offer value-conscious features that are beneficial for both the tourist and the local, alike. Here are a few recent ones for our fellow New Yorkers:

• New York City Deals: Fine Dining for Less
• New York’s 12 Best Free Summer Events
• Cheap NYC Lunches: Fodor’s Top 5 Favorite Food Carts & Truck

EuroCheapo – I admit it: at any given moment, I’d rather be in Europe, and that’s why I love EuroCheapo’s reminders about how easy – and sometimes surprisingly satisfying – it can be to travel or live like a cheapo over there. EuroCheapo newsletters feature suggestions for cheapo (and often free!) fun things to do, as well as cheapo places to eat, cheapo places to stay, and cheapo ways to get around in both major and off-the-beaten path locations. While EuroCheapo has recently experienced a few fancy upgrades (they now offer hotel & city guides for 28 cities, as well as budget flight, car, and rail finders on their site), their newsletters still have a real DIY feel to them with helpful insights and authentic snapshots from cheapos on the go.

Daily Candy – It’s not a specifically frugal guide to anything, but sometimes whatever cool “candy” they’re promoting fits the bill. Especially on Sample Sale days. One of the best things about the Daily Candy newsletter – aside from how cheekily it’s written – is how it faithfully informs you when, where, and which designers are hocking their goods at a discount. Why pay full price to look fabulous when you can splurge just a bitty bit (or a biggy bit, depending on the designer – ahem, Fendi)? If you can slip out in the middle of the day with some cash and the balls to stand up to any feisty fashionista that tries to get between you and your new skinny jeans, you have the potential to win big.

• Recent/Current Sample Sales
• Upcoming Fendi Warehouse Sale

Old stone houses in Recife, Brazil.

My first trip was to magical Salvador de Bahia in the northeast where music is everywhere and the vibe is relaxed and super fun. Subsequent trips took me to to Recife (above) to study with a yogi, the urban centers of Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo, and the island city of Florianopolis where my Portuguese teacher (from Brooklyn) spent 2007-2008.

Brazil was wilder than I could have imagined: the food was strange and intriguing, the people were warm and funny; the country had a rich, dark history and could be fantastically beautiful.

Breakfast in Brazil consists of lots of delicious fresh fruit, cakes, coffee, eggs, ham, cheese, yogurt and some unidentifiable things.

But at almost 5,000 miles from New York, Brazil is not a weekend destination. For my last trip, in 2007, I paid with points—otherwise the ticket would have been around $1300 US.

This year, a friend in Rio (who had lived in New York until 2002) tipped me off about cheap airfares. Through BACC.com, a company that specializes in travel to Brazil, I got a ticket to Rio for $361 US (with taxes, $474) just 8 days before departure. Since this kind of bargain is so rare (probably a product of the swine flu scare), I hustled to clear my schedule and get on a plane. (Which, by the way, I almost missed with the slow subway connections and my obsessive avoidance of downtime at the airport!)

It’s pretty much impossible to get a ticket that cheap–and yet I was anxious. I’m supposed to be saving money, not spending! And even as a great deal, $500 is still $500.

But I went. Suddenly—almost absurdly fast—I was in Rio! Damp stone walls, erratic drivers, miles and miles and miles of favelas (shantytowns), men in long shorts and flip flops, that languid walking pace, people sitting in botecos (little bars with finger foods), drinking choppe (draft beer)–and of course, the incredible beach.

Guys playing paddle ball in Florianopolis.

I needed an afternoon nap to shake off the flight. For dinner, we went down to Copacobana to an Italian place, Trattoria, whose special was “Obama Spaghetti with Mussels!” We had golden sole with garlic sauce, and rice cut with greens, a bottle of wine. The exchange rate is just better than 2:1 right now, and in the end my friend paid. Very frugal!

The next night I paid. We went to a place called Galeto, a counter-style rotisserie, also in Copacobana, open into the street, where you eat roast chicken (galinho is a rooster). There was a line. But when we finally got a stool at the “S”-shaped counter, we had a plate of galeto (two small cut-up chickens), and other plates of salad, rice with greens, and farofa (toasted manioc meal) with egg. And very cold Bohemie beers. Delicious! All served by a serious, licensed roaster in a vest and glasses. $20 for two.

Although it’s fall there, we had some hot and sunny days. The day after my arrival was in the high 80s and the beaches were packed—an incredible variety of people swam, surfed, read, napped, played volley ball and paddle ball. It was easy to spot the tourists–they just didn’t look as comfortable in their skin as the locals. The constant stream of vendors made sure you were never without anything, from ice cream to beer to hot cheese (the hot-cheese guys carry around a little brickette-powered oven). I didn’t buy anything except a fresh coconut for the water (coco gelado) overpriced at $1.50, but still worth the experience.

On Sunday I went up to the hill-top neighborhood of Santa Teresa, an artists and ex-pat community far from the beach throngs below. There, I met friends of friends for afternoon choppe and a workout of my rusty Portuguese. Someone bought a litre bottle of beer and all of us had little cups from the bar, then, people who joined the conversation topped up our glasses as is customary. It’s easy to drink a lot in a short time, with all the comings and goings. Especially when you’re nervously covering up your language skills….

From the bar, Bar do Mineiro, I was invited to a lunch party, a big spread of traditional feijoada, at a nearby house poised on the side of a cliff. Monkeys swung in the trees, kids played in the pool, and adults from Brazil, Germany, Argentina and the US drank on the vast stone veranda that overlooked the city. The food never stopped coming–rice, beans, 5 kinds of meat, thinly cut cooked greens, farofa, fired aipim, and then three kinds of dessert. A tour of the enormous, 4-floor house made me wonder if perhaps I should give up my frugal ways and try to live more decadently…

At the end of the afternoon, after a stroll down the cobble-stoned streets in the lowering sun, I stopped with a new friend for a coffee and we listed to a trio play chorro, a melancholy music with a sweet lilt to it. I recognized many of the songs as traditional favorites. I bought my friend his espresso, my only expense of the day.

Tips
Bargain hunting, friends in the know, and the ability to leave at a moment’s notice are all key moves for the frugal traveler to South America.

Travel organizations will often tout themselves as experts only to serve up higher fares than you can find yourself on Orbitz, Expedia, Travelocity, or airlines’ sites. So ask friends and acquaintances who frequently travel to your dream destination where to shop for low fares. Often, they will tip you off about which companies to trust and which to avoid—and what have changed since the last time you went.

Check Travelocity or Orbitz first, then check out the airlines that they list as offering low fares. Often, Delta or United or American Airlines‘ prices are slightly lower still. And, buying tickets directly from the airline means the tickets are more flexible—easier to upgrade or change if necessary. Once you buy from outfits such as Orbitz, you can get locked in without easy or affordable ways out. 

Always fly direct unless you have lots of time to spare.

Going when the low fare is offered is also a help. True, because my trip was last minute, I could only secure a week away from work. But, with a friend picking me up at the airport, a free place to stay, and a 2:1 exchange rate in my favor, the trip was doable. And an affordable week on the beaches of Copacobana and Impanema is something I will never turn down. Nor should you.