The frugality movement is about more than just saving money, it’s about rethinking our consumer culture. Since today is Mother’s Day, I thought I would take a moment to consider how we celebrate mom.

According to the National Retail Federation, Americans will spend an an estimated $14.10 billion on Mother’s Day cards and gifts. Clearly, Mother’s Day is a phenomenally successful commercial holiday, but more than the money spent on cards and gifts, the lamentable thing about Mother’s Day is the canned, sentimental, idealized, gooey portrayal of mothers themselves. That’s why I offer this Pink Floyd video for your consideration.

It’s the opposite of a Hallmark card and, I know this sounds strange, but I think it gets to the bottom of what mothers really are–larger-then-life figures in their children’s consciouness and counterpoints to humankind’s destructive efforts. Pink Floyd’s “Mother” explores the richness and complexity of this primary relationship. The song reveals the push-pull, the vulnerability and the defiance, the fierce energy of our connection to mother, and the deep melancholy over the fraught nature of that connection.

When I consider my relationship with my mother and with my son, this vision of motherhood feels more authentic and, oddly enough, more inspiring than the media portrayal of mothers as long-suffering saints or always-cuddly pets. Motherhood isn’t about how closely we match a commercial ideal, but how deeply and ferociously we love. So on this frugal Mother’s Day, I’m rethinking what motherhood means. I’ve decided to embrace the complexity and the chaos, and I’ve recommitted myself to doing motherly battle with the forces of destruction.

For Mother’s Day, I’m not getting flowers, candy, or jewelry. My husband and son are outside in the yard as I write this, building me a victory garden.